Emma

 The life of Elsa Wackie  I wanna kick all your nasty butts, you know that!? All you kids, I hate you! Just so you know. You make this world look like a monkeys dead asshole! You sabotage the nature and you always fuck with us older people! *spits* Can't you just move away from this planet!? My name is Elsa by the way. Elsa Wackie, 71. I like to play chess with my cat Daisy or the mailman and drink beer with my old, german friend Walther. we always have lots to talk about, we talk about old memories and we laugh very much! He's my best friend and he's soo cool! If you're thinking right now, oh the're inlove, you're wrong! He's just my friend and I wouldn't ruin it by starting a stupid relationship! Hell no! If I don't do one of those things I watch cool shows on tv like "Are you smarter then a fifth grather?", "Baywatch" or maybe "7th heaven". Those are really good shows people! Something I'm proud of is my cat. I always get comments about how beautiful she is. I'm thinking about putting her in a catshow that's called "Miss cat of the year" before she gets too old. I think she would win the show, what do you say?
 * Hey you all gangsters out there! **

I'm retired if you want to put it that way, but I would just say; No job, no money, depressed and drunk. That's me in a nutshell. But I really love my life, I can do whatever I want and I don't need to think about what's best for someone else. I think that's nice because I'm kind of selfish.

**I live in an old washhouse that's remodeled in an apartment in Awesome Center, a part of Joranis. It has one room, that is both livingroom and bedroom, one kitchen and one tiny bathroom with no toilet, just a bucket, a little washbasin, a shower shaped like a triangle in the left courner, and of course a washing machine. Like you see it's not a big, fancy suite and that's because I can't afford anything else than this. I don't have money enough to decorate it the way I would want to, but I live a good life, so I have nothing to complain about. Decorations are not the most valuable things in life so I can live without them. One good thing about it is that I don't need to clean the house so often because I don't have much things that get dusty, and then it's also easier to clean! wohoo lucky me!! I don't live next door to anyone since I live in an old washhouse, but I go see some friends sometimes that live above me. I don't mind living here, because I like living by my self, It's always very peaceful and quiet.**



I like to go for long walks around our house, just round an round. It's quite fun actually, to see how the flowers are growing inside peoples windows, see how they cook dinner for their families and to see how happy they are. It feels almost like I'm an angel that watch over their lifes and make sure that they're okay. But that's not true really, all I do is to walk round and look and that's no help for anyone, but it's fun to see how happy they are! Now it sounds like I'm jelaous, but I'm really not! I don't want a familly, and for gods sake, not a child!! I'm happy with my life, Daisys and my life. It fits me perfect, and I don't want to change anything.

from one thing to another...  Last week a terrible thing happend! I don't know how I'm going to live with this.. At about 4 pm I let my cat Daisy out like I always do because she needs to get some fresh air and get her body going a bit, otherwise she would get fat! After a while I heard her maiowing outside the window, she screamed for me. I thought she just wanted to get inside, so I sat a while in my chair, drank up my beer and finished watching "Baywatch". Then I walked towards the window and I saw the wind blowing harder than normal, like a storm. Suddenly a big tree was cut of by it and it fell next to Daisy! She got really scared and now she screamed even more than before. I got panic and I was just going to get outside and help her when an arm of the storm that had got bigger now took my Daisy away, up in the sky. She just flew away from me.. I saw her eyes before she had got so small that I couldn't see her and they were big like footballs. I've never seen her so terrified and I'll never forgive my self for not saving her. She was my only family, the only living creature I've ever loved and now she was gone, gone for always.. how the hell would I survive now?

After that I couldn’t get out, the storm had got even worse and trees were cut of everywhere! I got worried that the whole house was going to be destroyed by the storm so I got out from my part of the apartment and I saw that all my neighbors were running towards the basement, security room of our house and I followed them and at the end of the basement it was a big tunnel leading away, down into the ground. I walked fast after my neighbors and it was a pretty long tunnel. After a while we came to a door and it was I sign on it that said “ **привет ****”. ** We all wondered what the sign said and what it would be behind the door and we opened it, and we had come to the BRB, the Big Russian Basement! Now we were all safe from the storm and very, very happy! One reason to why we were happy was that there was vodka everywhere! You could take as much as you liked! It was awesome! It was also very safe down there, and we didn't need to worry about the storm for a while. Those first hours there in the basement I got to know a really nice lady actually! Her name is Siri and we had really fun down there. We played chess and laughed and it was fun spending time with her in the beginning, but after a while I began to think that she was too prissy for me, she didn’t want to drink vodka with me all the time. So therefore I found my old, dear friend Walther, and like always we had a lovely time, drinking a lot while talking about old times. Walther, oh Walther, you really know your stuff. It's always wonderful to talk to you. ho ho ho! Of course we got a bit tipsy at first and then, after a few shots a little bit more than tipsy.. Such good times! We had almost forgotten about the storm, we just wanted to party like never before! Is this paradise? We had a really good time down there in the basement! We relaxed, we slept, we partied and what more do you want in life!? It was really fun spending time with all my neighbors because I havn't done that before. I'm not really the friendly lady. But now I don't know what more to tell you because I don't remember much.. I drank vodka sometimes, yes.. But we got hungry of course after a few hours, and then a dude called Normal Guy went up to the mall and got food to all of us! That was really, really good! Now could we all get some more in our bodies than vodka, it's not so good to drink on an empty stomach you know! I specially liked a swedish candybar called "Sexchoklad" I don't know what it means, but it was a really good bar! I also ate two banans and drank a bottle of juice. Yummy in my tummy! It was good that he brought some good food too, not just candy and junkfood, I like fruit and healthy juices! It was nice and everything down there but soon we all wondered when we were going to get home again. Normal guy had said that the storm was still going on, and I hoped it would end soon, because I started to get homesick. I liked it there, but I wanted to get home. If you're longing to read more about what we all did down there you can visit the other pages about Awesome Centre!



//After a few days of happy moments Siri went up to the mall to check out the storm yaaal, and she came back after just about 2 minutes. She had great news for us! The storm was gone! Gone baby, gone! We could finally get back to our homes, but of course it would be a bit sad not to see my new friends all the time like I had done the last few days. But no tears, I'm tough! We went into the tunnel and walked a bit, then we got to the security room where it all began. Everyone looked happy and they ran up to their aparments. I stood there all alone and just watched them walk away. I didn't have anything at home that missed me, no one that waited for me, I was alone. No Daisy. I didn't look forward to live my life anymore, I felt totally lifeless and unloved. That's why I opened my door, went to the stairs, got up to the roof and there I stood a while. Then I jumped. //